Yesterday while I was sitting in church, I had what you could call an epiphany in regards to community support. The message was about human nature and that we are all sinful beings, so I'm not exactly sure WHY support came to mind, but I would really like to share some of my thoughts on it. One of the reasons I did not open up about my disease earlier was that I feared that I would not be supported. I thought I was going to be seen as different and people would not try to get to know who I was, but would rather only be interested in what I had. Through this whole "announcing to the world" thing, I have been SHOCKED at the amount of support I have received. Not just through financial needs, but emotional and spiritual support as well. My friends and family have been nothing but accepting and kind with this new stage in my life that I'm about to enter into with Zido. There have been strangers from across the world that have messaged me and sent me support. And I mean people that I have never met and probably never will meet. But the people that I have found to be the most supportive have been the ones at my church. Now that seems like something that should be a "duh" thing, right? Like, of COURSE your church will be supportive of you in your times of need and weakness! But sadly, that's not always the case.
I used to go to a church that I thought was heaven sent. I felt like I connected and that I was needed. I felt like my talents were what led to me knowing a lot of people. I thought it was through our mutual love of Christ that I was supported at that church. But I was wrong. It was because of the people that I knew and the things I could do FOR the church that led to many of the people knowing me. It was because I had a great ability to hide hurt from the outside world that I was accepted into many factions of the church. But sadly, the second I lost the person that I knew that connected me to the church, almost all of the people that I thought were my friends turned on me and haven't spoken to me since. I thought they loved me for me, but it turned out they liked me for who I knew. My entire family was treated this way once my relationship was cut short. And the worst part is that I don't think the people of that church will ever know how devastated I was and how hurt my family was to be treated like that. This was supposed to be the body of Christ. The people that support you in thick and thin and help you find your way back from the pit. But my experience was that when I started to show signs of temptation and struggle, I was blocked out. I still have a few friends from that church that have maintained a relationship with me, and I will always be grateful for the love that they showed me.
Which is why I am so thankful for the church family that I have found at New Hope Church. They accept everyone, no matter what their background is or what their struggles may be. They have never left someone in a pit, because it's at that point that you need someone the most. The church is here to lead people to Christ and to support each other, no matter the problems we face. And I know as I walk into this new stage with Zido and face all the difficulties that will come with it, my church family will be there to support me through it all.
46 days left!!!!!!!
Love and blessings,
Zee and Me
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