Slow and Steady

"For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay." Habakkuk 2:3

So I've posted this verse on my Facebook page a couple times in regards to my condition. The first time I posted it was in January and it was because one of my doctors FINALLY gave me a diagnosis. It almost didn't seem real. I mean, THAT was the moment my family and I had been waiting for for 10 years. Later that day, I saw this verse and I thought it was perfect. I had waited. I had persevered. I had done everything right when it came to being patient while waiting for a diagnosis. The official diagnosis he gave me was POTS and he told me that normally people have grown out of it by the time they are my age, but he has definitely seen cases of patients who have it into their 40s. But the point was, there was going to come a day that I wouldn't have it anymore.
But one month later, my team of doctors actually "undiagnosed" me with it. In a way. They explained that I exhibit the signs of POTS, so that could serve as part of my condition, but it wasn't the whole condition. They told me based off when I started showing the symptoms and that it has gotten worse over time, they believe that it is a genetic thing. Which means a couple things: 1. I won't grow out of it and 2. since no one in my family has shown signs of this before, either my parents both carried this super rare gene OR I could have "mutated" during my formation. That's right people...we finally have an explanation for why I am oh so very weird. I am a mutant. Comforting right?
My parents and I talked about it after the fact, and we all admitted that we had a feeling POTS wasn't the end all, be all. But we had been waiting so long to hear ANYTHING that as soon as we got a name, we wanted to hold on to it. 
So where do we go from here?
My doctors are trying to get me into NIH's Undiagnosed Diseases Program to be a guinea pig for research. Which means I could totally get a disease named after me! I told my doctor I wanted to name it "Fainting Goat Syndrome" (go look it up...now.) Needless to say, he kinda ixnayed that one pretty quickly. But it's my disease....I should be able to name it right? :)
That same day I found that verse again and it had a whole new meaning to me. I especially noticed the "awaits its appointed time" and "if it seems slow" parts. God has always had a plan for me and a time for everything. It's just not my time yet for a diagnosis. And that's okay because it IS my time for some help.
My friend, Danielle, and I were talking about how a service dog really is an answer to prayer and feels like a reward for perseverance. I am no where near perfect when it comes to how I've waited and waited for an answer. I've been angry with God and people around me. I've been scared at the growth of my condition. I didn't trust that God gave me this for a reason. But as time went by, I started to see a different side to it. I saw the people I have met because I started getting sick. My family wouldn't be in this area if I hadn't needed medical care. My sister wouldn't have met her husband (yeah you're welcome Kaitlyn...just saying). I might not be at Mason. But most importantly, I wouldn't have the blessing of Zido. Maybe I'll never get an official name for what's going on, but you know what? I will have a dog that loves me and takes care of me regardless of if I have an answer. And THAT is the "vision" I think this verse was talking about.
Well, I think that's enough for now. Real quick, I wanted to say that I would love for this blog to be interactive. Please feel free to post comments or questions and I will happily answer them. All of the words of support and love have been an incredible blessing and I can't thank you guys enough. Also, I'll be posting a video later today  (hopefully) for my fundraising but I have finally set up my GoFundMe! If you feel led to donate, the site is http://www.gofundme.com/croj94 (excuse the replica of my first post as the explanation section...). If you can't donate, that is totally okay! Please continue your thoughts and prayers because they are definitely working :)
Love and blessings,
Zee and Me