Service Dog Questions - Answered (Part 2)

Hey everybody!

Part 2 of my "Get Your Service Dog Questions" video series is now up! Take a look and learn about service dog training and a little bit about the legal differences between service dogs, therapy animals, and emotional support animals.

Keep sending your questions in! If I don't get to them in a video, I'll definitely be using them for future posts. https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/76GSSZK

You guys are the best - thanks for sticking with us and for spending your time listening to me talk to myself!

Love and blessings,
Zee and Me

Service Dog Questions - Answered (Part 1)

Thank you to everyone who sent their questions in last month! I decided that a video may be a better way to give each question its due time, so here's Part 1 of an unknown number of videos (your girl can talk...)

This video will be looking at why I have a service dog and how our partnership started. Enjoy!

Didn't get a chance to submit your question? Don't worry! I'm leaving the survey open so please keep sending them in - https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/76GSSZK

Love and blessings,
Zee and Me

The Truth.

Okay, I'm going to say something that I never thought would leave my mouth—or I guess in this case, leave my thoughts to my fingers—when I started this journey. It may surprise many of you who have been with me from the beginning, as I've shared joy after joy. Those joys don't lessen this statement and this statement doesn't lessen that joy.

There are days I hate having a service dog.

Now let me be abundantly clear: there has never been, nor will there ever be, a moment in my life that I hate having Zido. He's saved my life—physically, mentally, and emotionally—when I was close to losing all three. He's given me endless moments of laughter, pride, and a happiness I didn't even know existed. He's introduced me to countless numbers of people that I would never have had in my life if I didn't have him. He's given me a freedom that I had long lost hope of ever having. He, in short, is my miracle.

But this post is about my moments of just being human; my moments of, "what if..." and "why me...." My moments of wanting to blend back in and just have a "normal"—albeit sick, freedom-less, scared to be alone—life.

You're probably sitting here, reading this and thinking "Woah, Courtney, take the melodrama down about 23 notches. We want our 'service dogs are the best creatures to bless the ground we walk on' post. None of this 'to be or not to be....that is the question....' stuff."

Well, quite frankly, that sunny, rosey, Instagram-filtered post is exactly the kind I want to share with you, but this is the one that's real to me right now. Don't fear, the joy and the happiness is still here and those posts WILL be back, but for now let's just take a moment to really understand what having a service dog is like, warts and all.

It's being told that you can't book a cabin for your honeymoon because they wouldn't be able to accommodate my dog in case of an emergency (don't ask...long story.)

It's being seated in the back corner of a restaurant that's close to empty, and knowing exactly why.

It's waiting for a public ride-share car to pick you and you husband up in the snow, excited to celebrate your anniversary, only to have them drive off once they see you.

It's being moved 3 times at a show that you paid for front section seats to, only to end up in the back row because that's the only place your dog can fit.

It's sitting on the metro—like I am now—trying to get home, and you know without even looking up that many of the people are staring at and whispering about you, and at least 2 people are probably sneaking pictures that will end up who knows where.

It's looking to a parent for help when their child asks if she can pet your dog, and them getting upset when you tell their child no.

It's getting to a job interview that you were really excited about, only to spend 30 minutes talking about your dog's qualifications for his job.

It's sitting in a restaurant and having someone bring their child up to you and continue to point at you as they loudly talk about you.

It's having a person scream and say you can't get on an elevator because they're scared of dogs.

Basically, having a service dog isn't fun.

But.

Having a service dog is so much more than just "fun."

It's falling in love with your husband because he accepts you, despite all of the above.

It's getting the opportunity to speak in front of rooms of people and telling them how your life has changed, for the better.

It's graduating college and moving on to success when you never thought you could.

It's having your best friend right at your feet when you feel anxious or when you're afraid that you're going to get sick.

It's knowing that you're going to be okay, because you have someone monitoring your every heart beat.

It's educating people about their actions and seeing the light bulb click.

It's finding a passion that you never knew you had and learning how to be a partner.

Yes, there are days—more than I would like—when I think about what my life could be like without a service dog.

But then I truly think about what my WAS like without a service dog, and I remember that it was really no life at all.

Love and blessings,
Zee and Me

Partnership Pet Peeves

Oh my lanta, the changes life gives you! This past month has been full of them and there are only more to come! I’m currently about a week (hopefully less!) away from becoming an aunt as my incredibly preggers older sister is waiting for the arrival of her first son. This will be the first baby of my immediate family, so I know we’re all anxiously awaiting the moment we meet the little man. As if that weren’t enough of a life change, I started a new job last month and I’m absolutely loving it! I’m now a Communications Manager at a local association, so it’s awesome to actually be doing what I went to school and spent thousands of dollars for…funny how that works. And as if THOSE weren’t enough, my older brother has recently gotten engaged and will be getting married this fall to his lovely fiancée! With two weddings and a baby, 2018 is shaping up to be a big year for the family.

A few weeks back, I asked my Facebook friends for any blog topics (Blopics? Is that a thing? Can it be a thing? Let’s make it a thing.) and I was given some pretty good ones that I can expand on! The one I chose for today is one that I’ve wanted to write about for a few years, but have been tiptoeing around because I want to be sure the tone is firm, but not rude; serious, but approachable; and informative, but filled with grace. We’re going to take some time to investigate some of the “Pet Peeves” I have as a service dog partner. Obviously, I don’t speak for ALL partnerships, but from the threads I’ve seen and the conversations I’ve had, I’ve gotten the sense I’m not alone in these. Rather than just list all the “OMG” moments of my day-to-day life, I want to be sure to include some alternatives that non-partners can turn to when faced with a service dog partnership.

Doing the exact opposite of what I ask and having a little ‘tude about it

Fun fact, I’ve found that children are THE best when it comes to interacting with Zido and me. Nine times out of 10, they’ll ask if they can pet him (+100 points for asking!) Then, when I say no, they just go "Oh okay" and walk away (+1500 points for listening!) My assumption is that this is because they live in a world where every other sentence to them is: “No, don’t touch that.”

Adults, on the other hand, are prone to just reaching right out to him (-10 bazillion points) and then when I say “Oh he’s working. Please don’t,” they’ll do 1 of 3 things:

1. Stop and apologize (you get your 10 bazillion back)

2. Get offended and give me “a look"

3. Wait until they think I’m not looking and go for it again

In the age of the “Me Too” movement, we should just conclude that in all situations involving personal property and personal space, ask first and if the answer’s no, move on and respect the person.

The best thing you can do if you come up to a service dog partnership is to first look for any signage on the dog that says, “Do Not Pet/Distract.” If you don’t see that or if the dog isn’t wearing any kind of a uniform, just assume you can’t interact with it. There ya go, it’s as simple as that. If the dog is able to be touched, the partner will more than likely tell you that and give you the permission.

Asking what’s “wrong” with me

A lot of times, this question comes up like this:

Random Randy: “What’s he for?”
Me: "He’s a medic alert dog."

Now the conversation will take 1 of 2 turns:

Option 1:
Randy: "Oh awesome!"
Exit stage right

Option 2:
Randy: "No, like what medical condition is he for?"
Me: "A medical condition."
Randy: "What medical condition?"
Me: "That's actually really personal."
Maintain awkward eye contact until one of us can leave.

Most people get the hint after that, and they apologize for asking a complete stranger what their medical history is, however I’ve had a number of people that STILL go further with the questioning and say, “Oh I’m a nurse” or “I’m a doctor” or “My cousin has a service dog.” While these help me understand a bit more about why they’re asking, it’s still a very personal question to be asking a complete stranger. They’re not MY nurse and they’re not MY doctor, so I don’t feel comfortable going into detail about my medical history, and I doubt they would be either.

In my last post, I mentioned that when you’re wondering about WHY you can’t pet, think about how you would interact with someone with a cane or oxygen tank. The same applies when wondering why someone has a service dog. You would never (hopefully…) ask someone why they’re in a wheelchair, why someone’s limb is missing, or why they have an oxygen tank with them. I understand that when I made the decision to get a service dog, I made the decision to stand out a bit in public. I did not, however, make the decision to give the public a right to my personal information.

The alternative to this is like the last alternative: just don’t do it.

We are so blessed to live in a time where “Google It” has become a sentence in and of itself! If, for example, you see me on the metro and I’ve told you that he’s for a medical condition and you see a sign that says, “Cardiac Alert Dog,” go home and research “What is a cardiac alert dog?” or “What kind of service dogs are there?” I guarantee you’re going to find the answers you’re looking for and then maybe even some more!

 LOUDLY pointing us out to children

This weekend, I went to a coffee shop for a little “me” date. While standing in line, this man came within 2 feet of me and LOUDLY started talking to his daughter who was definitely under a year old about “See THAT? THAT’S a SERVICE DOG. He HELPS HER with a PROBLEM she has” I wanted to list this as a pet peeve, because not only is it embarrassing to be pointed out like that by someone being very loud, but it was to a child that probably doesn’t understand what you’re even talking about.

Now, I understand that I don’t have a child and I don’t really know what it’s like to face a “Teachable Moment” with one, however I’ve had a few experiences like this one, and it becomes very clear that it’s become a moment for the parent to show others that they know what they’re talking about, rather than teaching their child a lesson. What I would suggest as an alternative is to wait until you think the service dog partnership is out of ear shot, get on your child’s level and explain what they see. During that time, I think you have a great opportunity to start the conversation on how to treat people who might seem “different” to you, one of which is to not make a scene or embarrass the person when you notice them. If I ever hear a parent doing that, I always make a point to thank them for explaining it and for doing it in such a polite way. You really have no idea how much it means to see the next generation being taught that different isn’t weird.

Contradicting what I say about service dogs to children

Back to the coffee shop scene, after this man politely stepped off his soap box and dropped the mic, he told his daughter “Now you can’t pet but you can say hi.” At this point, I understood that he was talking more so to me about what he’s allowed to do versus talking to his daughter because again, she was literally a baby. I said, “Well, actually, you can’t. Since he’s working he can’t be distracted at all.” To which he said, “Well yeah, but you can wave.” and I said, “No, you can’t. He’s working, and he can’t be distracted.” This grown man rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah, sure.” and walked away. I’ve had parents say, “He bites.” To which I quickly try to clear that up. I’ve also had a mother take her child out of the cart at a store, set it on the ground and say, “Go say hi to the puppy!” When I stepped in the way, the mother got very offended and told the child that I was, I kid you not, “a mean lady.”

If you see someone with a service dog, it’s probably best practice to think they know about how to handle a service dog and that they’re saying what they’re saying for the good of all parties involved. Please don’t teach children that to be told “no” is equivalent to the person being a “Mean Lady.”

Starting in on a question without following conversation protocol

What does this even mean? Well, one time, I was on the metro with my headphones in when the lady next to me tapped me on the shoulder. I took my earbud out and she pointed to a woman ACROSS THE CAR and said, "I think she's trying to ask you something?" I turned to the lady and she very loudly said, "WHAT'S THAT DOG FOR?"

This touches on a few of the above pet peeves, but let's look at it under the scope of "Conversation Protocol." Normally, if you want to ask someone something, you'll first make sure you're within normal conversing distance. Then you'll probably start it with something like, "Excuse me..." Once you have mentally confirmed that they've acknowledged your effort of getting their attention, you'll then begin your question.

What I find many people will do is just jump right into their question, without trying to get my attention. I've been standing in line, and someone a few people back said, "How old?" Even though I heard it, I had no clue they were talking to me so I didn't say anything. I heard them ask it again, and again no response. Finally, they said "How old is your dog?" and sounded very annoyed that they had to ask so many times.

If you have an appropriate question to ask someone with a service dog, please use the same steps you would take in asking a question of anyone else! While I know a lot of people on a train might be staring at us, I don't assume that every question asked is aimed towards me.

Talking to Zido, not me

While you shouldn't talk to a service dog at all anyway, one of the interactions I've had a few times have been people literally talk to Zido instead of me. One time, I was on an elevator and a lady said, "What's your name?" I knew she wasn't talking to me, but I still said, "Courtney." She then looked at Zido and said, "Hi Courtney!" I said, "Oh, no, MY name is Courtney." She looked at me and said, "Oh I was asking what his name is..." I replied, "I just thought since you said 'your' name, you were talking to me since he's a dog." Then I smiled and you could tell it kind of hit her, too, and she started laughing.

As crazy of an alternative as this might sound, here it goes: Talk to the human. Not the dog. Dogs can't talk.

I firmly believe that having Zido in my life has served as an AMAZING icebreaker in social situations since everyone can talk about dogs, but I'm still the person in this partnership. I've had job interviews where so much of it was spent on Zido's training that we hardly touched on my abilities! When you're engaging in a conversation with someone with a service dog, just remember to focus on the person and understand that while we can talk about our dogs all day, every day, we still like to show the world that there's more to us than our furry companions.

Telling me that my dog is sad or that I’m hurting him

This is probably one of the most hurtful things I could hear from someone. It seems like such a small comment, but for some reason it really hits me. I’ve had countless experiences where people have said the harness is hurting him, or that he looks sad to be working, or that I’M hurting him. If you’re someone that thinks this, let me clear up a few things.

First, the harness Zido has was actually designed by a canine chiropractor and was created specifically for him so that it only rests on the strongest parts of his back. While it looks heavy, it’s not - it’s created to only be about 7lbs. I love this dog more than I love myself, and while I know a stranger wouldn’t know that, I hope to get the word out that legitimate service dog partners will do ANYTHING to protect our dog. They are our lifeline and they are our best friends. I would never put Zido in a situation that I know would hurt him.

Second, Zido doesn’t look sad. He looks serious. I think I’ve said before that you probably don’t sit at your desk and smile all day. No, that’s kind of creepy. Zee is the same because he takes his job seriously. Dogs were MADE for work! Think about all the things you see dogs do and think of how happy they look. I mean, seriously, I’ve never seen anything as happy as a dog herding sheep. While Zido’s face may look sad, take a look at the rest of his body: his tail’s high, his walk’s peppy, and his ears are forward and relaxed. He loves his job and he’s good at it! While, yes, he loves coming home and taking the harness off, it doesn’t mean that he hates having it on! My favorite part of the day is getting home and changing into my pajamas (at 5:30pm…don’t judge me.) but that doesn’t mean I hate my job!

"I just love dogs so much. This is so hard for me to not pet him."

I debated adding this one, because it's such a benign comment, but it's still one that gets under my skin. When someone says it, I never know what they want me to say. Are they looking for a "Good job!" or me confirming my understanding on how hard it is? Or are they looking for an "in" that I might say, "Oh since you did so well up until now, go for it!" Most people are dog lovers. Most people find it hard to not pet him. What I find super respectful, however, is to not even acknowledge he's there. If you know you can't pet him, it's so much better to just follow through with what you know rather than pointing out that you're feeling tortured.

"I wish I could take MY dog with me everywhere!"

I wish I didn't have a medical condition that requires me to take my dog with me everywhere. Enough said.

The main points in all of these are pretty simple:

1. Listen to the partner
2. Respect their privacy

I’m super excited for the next post (no promises on when it’ll be!) but my husband, Zack, has agreed to do a guest post on what it’s like to be “the third-wheel” in a service dog partnership! I can’t wait to share his perspective with all of you!

Love and blessings,
Zee and Me

But WHY Can't I Pet Him?

Something weird, but strangely common happened the other week that inspired this post. I was on an elevator and a man in a wheelchair got in. He said the usual "Nice dog, what's his name?" I gave him Zido's "Undercover Name" which is Charlie (I'll talk more about that in a bit.) He then turned to me and said ...

Side note: This was a one-floor elevator trip, meaning I spent all of 5 seconds with this man whom I have never met in my entire 24 years of life.

Anywho, he turned to me and said "I know it says don't pet, but can I pet him?" I just smiled and said "No, he's working." and the guy said "Oh okay just thought I'd ask." We got out of the elevator, scanned out of the metro and then ended up needing to get on another elevator to the street level. While waiting for the 2nd elevator, he said "So what is he?" I said "Yellow lab" and he said "No what service does he do, if you don't mind me asking." I replied "Oh, he's a medic alert dog." To which he then said ...

Side side note: At this point, I've known the strange guy (let's call him Ned since I don't really know his name and Nosy Ned is all that comes to mind) for about 90 seconds.

Back to the story: He said "So what's your medical condition, if you don't mind me asking?" Now, I try to take a really understanding approach to people who see Zido and me. I get it, a service dog is an oddity and super interesting! I remember exactly what it was like before I got Zido when I would see a dog at work. They're living, breathing, furry, adorable heroes! So when people have questions about him, I tend to give them an answer without getting too personal. This question, though, is one that I get a lot, and I always respond with "That's actually really personal." This normally shocks the person into realizing that they've just asked a complete stranger what their medical history is. We got on the elevator and waited the next one-floor ride in slightly super awkward silence.

Now, the whole asking a total stranger what their medical history is really deserves a post all on its own. SPOILER ALERT: Don't do it. It's awkward and it's kind of creepy. So yeah...just don't. But the asking to pet him has inspired this particular post which will hopefully answer the question that we all learned at the ripe old age of two and asked our parents incessantly: Why?

One thing I've found is that when there is more than one person in a group and someone asks if they can pet him, another person will often times answer for me. Which is super awesome and incredibly helpful! Except for when they're wrong about why. So here are two of the "Why Myths" when it comes to petting a service dog:

1. "Oh, it's because he bites. See his muzzle?"

FALSE! While this is a major reason that you should teach children to ALWAYS ask before petting any kind of dog, it's not the reason that a person with a service dog should be using. A well-trained service dog is one that should in no way show aggression towards other humans or animals. In fact, Zido is so non-aggressive that in the few instances when we've been lunged at by other dogs, he has simply gotten in-between the other dogs and me and stood there, not fighting back.

The second part to this response is also wrong, pertaining particularly to Zido. He wears what's called a Gentle Leader while he's on duty. It goes around his snout and is what his leash is attached to. The reason for this is not to stop him from biting (he can fully open his mouth while wearing it), but it instead serves as something very similar to a horse's reins. I have no way of steering Zido with the handle on his harness, but the Gentle Leader allows me to let him know which way we're turning.

2. "She just doesn't want to share him"

Granted, this is one that's not actually said out loud, but I know it's a thought because, to be perfectly frank, it's one I thought before I was partnered with a service dog. I'm not sure if it's just a thought that most people are greedy, but I think it's why people tend to become offended once I've said that they can't pet him. One time, a guy asked, "Well that's not fair. Why do you get to pet him and we can't?" There are no selfish motives when I tell people they can't pet him, and I can probably guarantee it's the same for 98% of the other service dog partners out there. The only "selfish" reason would be safety related, but we'll get there soon.

Now for the facts. When someone pets a dog, what does the dog normally do? It starts wagging its tail, licking the person's hand, and basically any other way that they can tell the person that in that moment, that person is the most important thing in that dog's life. While a service dog is an incredibly well trained and disciplined dog, it's still a dog. They aren't robots in any way, shape, or form. So, when a working service dog is pet, for that moment the person doing the petting is taking the attention of the dog FROM the partner. Even if that pet lasts for all of three seconds, it could take much longer than those three seconds for the dog to refocus their attention back on their job.

Think about it: you're sitting at your desk working on a report that is the make or break of your entire company. Everything that you went to school for is riding on this report being done exactly right and exactly on time. If you miss even one number, the business falls. Now imagine all of your focus is on that report, and in walks a coworker (let's go back to Ned) and Ned says, "Hey I know you're really busy and all, but what are you doing this weekend?" You can't help but have some of your attention turn to Ned, so you stumble out an "Oh...uhhh...gosh let me think....I mean I think maybe I have some laundry to do...?" Your boss walks in and says "Ned, stop talking to him. I really need him to finish this report in the next five minutes." So you turn your attention back to your computer and stare at the screen thinking "Wait, where was I? I just found something but I can't quite remember. Ummmm...."

DING

Your five minutes are up. The company is bankrupt.

Okay, so let's bring it back to a service dog. While you may think that a quick pet can't really do much harm, during the time it takes the dog to focus back on their person, they could miss a key function of their job. If it's a seeing eye dog, maybe the dog isn't able to notice a curb and their partner falls. If it's a diabetic alert dog, maybe the dog doesn't catch the drop in blood sugar in enough time and their person passes out. If it's Zido, maybe he misses a quick jump in my heart rate and I fall and hit my head on the sidewalk. You might be thinking this seems a little over dramatic, but it's really not. These dogs are more than just an adorable companion (and trust us; we know they're cute!) These dogs are living, breathing, necessary pieces of medical equipment. Would you unplug someone's oxygen tank because you want to see what it's like? No. Would you stick your foot out and knock over a blind woman's cane? Gosh I hope not. Service dogs are no different. You should just practice as much self control as you can muster in that moment, and let. them. do. their. job.

On Zido's harness, there are four signs that say "Do NOT Pet. Working Service Dog." So that should make it pretty clear that petting is a no-go. However, it's important to let people know what else can be distracting for a service dog:

• Talking to them. You never even have to touch them, but talking directly to a service dog or saying their name is just as distracting. Hence (I always love an excuse to use the word "hence") Zido's under cover name. When we're out in public and someone asks what his name is, I tell them it's Charlie. This is because nine times out of ten, the person will immediately follow that up with "Hi Charlie." It sounds nothing like his real name, so Zee has no clue they're talking to him!
• Making eye contact. For dogs, eye contact is just as much a form of communication as words are. Have you ever heard about staring into your dog's eyes, yawning, and seeing if they yawn back? It's supposedly a way of determining a bond, but it all starts with taking their attention by making eye contact.
• Kissing/Whistling/General creepy noise-making. Okay. I think this goes without saying, but it's really never a good idea to do this even if a dog is literally nowhere to be found. There's probably few things worse than walking on the street and hearing a stranger make smooching noises as you walk by. If it catches your attention, you can better believe it catches the dog's attention.

There are plenty of memes out there about how hard it is to ignore a working service dog, and please believe me when I say I know what it's like. It's hard and it's tough, but it's necessary. My old neurologist said that this dog has done for me what some of the best doctors in the country couldn't do. He does it by staying attentive and focused on me, and me alone.

I hope this post has given you a little more information on why a service dog should be left alone! If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to leave them below!

Love and blessings,

Zee and Me

Counting On

For those of you that know me or follow me on social media, you probably know that there have been two major dates that I've been counting down to and counting up from. Well, I'm here to tell you that the countDOWN is officially over! As of last Saturday, January 13th at about 1:30pm, I am now officially MRS. Courtney Williams. That's right! Zido and I walked down the aisle to the man of our dreams and walked back with a husband (and a dad!)

Our pictures should be ready in a few weeks, but until then, we received a few sneak peeks from the big day. Our photographer, Taylor Rose Photography, was an absolute and total Godsend. From the very first time we met her, we knew she was the perfect woman to capture our big day and some of the major days leading up to it with an engagement session AND a bridal session. Seriously, if you're getting married, check her out. She. Is. Amazing.

Now the thing to remember as an engaged couple is that no wedding is perfect. Ours had a song malfunction which made me walk down the aisle to silence, we had a unity cross that just did NOT want to get built, we had another song malfunction that made us not too sure when to leave the chapel, AND I got an alert that night which caused the reception to end about 30 minutes early! BUT, because of the imperfection, we had an absolutely perfect day that we shared with our friends and family. It was the ultimate day of displaying the love God has given us and celebrating the amazing journey we're now on.

Huge shoutout to Hitchcock Creative for the perfect invitations and programs!

Flats...because I can trip barefooted....

I cannot thank our friend, Danielle, and her service dog, Rollo, enough for creating the absolute most perfect bow tie and cufflinks for my main dog

Yeah...my husband's fun to look at... :)

The other major date that I've been counting UP from has been October 25, 2014 which was the day of my last episode. While our wedding was absolutely perfect and everything we could have dreamed of, it didn't come without some hardships. Only my parents, siblings, and Zack know about this, but I want to be sure that my followers can truly see what life with a service dog and a medical condition is like. At about 3pm on January 12th, my count-up restarted.

Weddings and wedding planning are by far one of the most stressful events someone can go through. Even though we had a year to plan and an incredibly supportive set of parents and friends who helped us every step of the way, there were still some stressers that just could not be avoided. Now, unfortunately, one of the only things we know for sure about my condition is that it's stress-induced. As I mentioned a while ago, happy stress, bad stress, and shock lead my body to overcompensate by just shutting down. The day before the wedding, there was a perfect storm of, to be quite honest, totally normal stresses that would make the average person just lay down for a bit and keep going. The other thing to note is that my way of handling the random disappointments or stresses of life is often times through crying. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I'm confused and frustrated, I cry when Zido does something that's so cute I just can't handle it. Well, at this particular moment, I had already been upset at two events and was close to tears. When the third event happened very shortly after, it all turned. I was sitting on a bed with Zido and my sister and the buildup of everything quickly led me to hyperventilating. No, Zido didn't alert before this, but there was honestly nothing to really alert to. My body went from upset to catastrophic in a matter of seconds, but as soon as that shift happened, Zido was on it.

I was trying to catch a breath, but at the beginning of an episode my muscles start to stiffen. Your diaphragm is a muscle, so breathing becomes incredibly difficult. At this point, Zido had gotten in front of me, jumped up to his back legs and landed his front legs on my shoulders to force me to lay down before he began licking my face. For some reason, my hands, arms, feet, and legs become catatonic-like and are unable to be easily moved, but are incredibly painful. As my sister and parents began massaging each of the body parts, Zido went from laying on my abdomen, creating a kind of heated pressure blanket, to licking my face, to laying his head on the leg that was hurting the most. At one point, my family saw that both arms, both hands, and one leg were relaxed, however Zido would not get off of my right leg when they tried to call him. My parents looked and saw that he was laying on my ankle, which was still stiff and incredibly painful. Once they were able to get it to relax, Zido finally moved and came up to lay by me.

I was able to rest for a little bit, but still had to get to the church for our rehearsal. It was an incredibly disheartening moment for me because it was a smack in the face that this condition isn't going anywhere. It may have been 1,175 days since my last episode, but it's still there lurking. I've never wanted to be someone that looks for pity or who flaunts having a medical condition, but the reality is that this thing is sticking around.

HOWEVER,

the blessing of knowing that there is an army of support behind me and the most amazing service dog beside me gives me the hope of knowing that it's going to be okay. I may be back down to day 9 of being episode free, but hey, that's 9 days of health and freedom!

I want to thank everyone for all of the amazing love and support as I've stepped into this new role as a "wife" (seriously, what?) and I'm really looking forward to all of the adventures and stories that are to come. As always, feel free to leave a comment if you have any questions or topic suggestions!

Love and blessings,
Zee and Me

These Are a Few of Our Favorite (and Not so Favorite) Things

Hello everyone and Happy 2018!

Recently (as in last night) a friend asked if I was thinking of keeping up with this blog. I told her that I really wanted to, but that it had just been so long since my last post that I wasn't sure if it was even worth it. She told me that time between posts doesn't matter; what matters is to just do it! So, Erin, thank you because we're back and ready for a new year!

The topic I'd like to get at today is a fun but crucial one from my partnership with Zido: safe toys and not-so-safe toys. I never really thought about dog toys until I was in training with Zee and they taught us about what our dogs can and can't have. I worked it into our daily lives, but found that when I would mention them to friends and family, they were shocked! Almost every time I bring up a toy that I try to keep away from Zido, someone says "I never thought of that!" Some of the toys I mention may come as a surprise, but together let's keep your dogs safe, happy, and healthy.

**Fine print: I'm not a toy or dog expert. I'm a Zido expert, and you are the expert of your dog. Take the advice you want but please talk to your vet or dog professional before making ANY toy, food, or treat changes. They'll help you with the process of finding what works for your furball**

**Larger fine print: No matter what toy your dog is playing with, they should ALWAYS be supervised. I know how tempting it is to want to just give them a bone so they'll stay out of your way, and I'm not saying you have to stare at them the entire time they're gnawing away. Just keep them in the same room as you so you can hear or see if anything starts to go awry.**

The Naughty List

1. Rope Toys

The first toys that I keep far far away from Zido are any toys that have rope, but it stinks because they tend to be the cheapest and can be found anywhere. They're awesome for tugging and gripping, but as you may expect, they start to shred. Those tiny fibers can either get caught in their teeth and harm their gums, or get swallowed and wrap around intestines. When someone gives us a toy that has rope elements to it, there's no reason the whole toy should go to waste. I'll just snip off the rope before giving it to him.

If you know me, you know how hard it was to say no to this sloth toy...but the rope around its body would have been impossible to remove and too dangerous for him to play with

2. Chewing on Tennis Balls

Zido LOVES tennis balls. He loves catching them, squeaking them, throwing them for himself (weird but adorable...) and don't even get me started on if we throw more than one for him. So, overall, tennis balls are a great and cheap option for these guys, but I take it away once he starts chewing on it. I had no idea about this until we were in our Team Training class, but tennis balls have similar fibers to rope toys. While the fibers don't necessarily wrap around their intestines, they do hurt their gums. Think about it - the hair on a tennis ball is essentially a ton of tiny little pieces of floss. When a dog sits and chews and chews and chews, those tiny floss bits start to eat away at the lining of their gums, leading to potential dental issues. Basically, while ropes are an immediate no-go, tennis balls are more of a supervised toy that should be removed once the dog is no longer just catching or squeaking it.

3. Rawhide Bones

Rawhide bones are another one of those toys that are incredibly cheap and available EVERYWHERE. They seem like a great option for a fun little treat for your dog, but unfortunately they are ones that we stay away from completely. The problem with a rawhide is because they aren't necessarily the highest quality, they can become mushy very quickly once the dogs start chewing. When they become mushy, they then become incredibly pliable, giving the dogs the ability to mold them into sharp edges or accidentally swallow whole pieces. The upcoming "Nice List" will give some of our favorite alternatives, but anytime your dog is gnashing away on a good bone, you'll want to keep an eye on their productivity. Once sharp edges show up and especially if you hear a piece crack off, go take a look at it and decide if you think play time is over for the time being.

The Nice List

While it may seem like I've just eliminated the most popular dog toys from our shopping cart, there are still plenty of other amazing toys out there that I know our little guys will love! Here are a few of Zido's favorite:

1. Tuffy Dog Toys

These toys can stand up against Zido The Ultimate Chewing Champion. They're strong, fun, and easy for either you or other dogs to hold onto. We like to get these as a replacement for traditional rope toys because they're tough (hence the name), they're easy to find, and they don't shred. Two of Zido's favorites are the shark and the lobster. Zido rating: 2 dewclaws up

2.. JW Dog Toys

These fun squeaky toys are a great alternative to tennis balls! They still bounce, they squeak, and they're smooth so no floss fear! This brand has a ton of different styles of toys and so far all of them have been a major success with the Zeester.

3. Antlers

Instead of rawhide bones, antlers are a super fun (albeit slightly expensive) chew toy for your dog. They're super tough and the marrow in the middle tastes delicious. If you know any hunters, you can always ask them to bring home any antlers they may find on the land. Some toy companies, like Nylabone, also have synthetic antlers that have all of the flavor and durability of a real antler, but with a slightly cheaper price tag.

I'm excited to be back up here and to start off the biggest year of my life (my wedding is in 7 days!!!) Feel free to leave a comment with any other topics you'd be interested in and thank you all for sticking with us!

Love and Blessings,

Zee and Me

Sick Bubba

So far on this blog, I've shared many positive and fun aspects of life with a service dog, as well as the dramatic daily interactions. But today's post is more about the day to day reality of my life with Zee. Unfortunately, I'm home sick for the 2nd day this week but for the first time it's not me who's sick. Zido's had an upset tummy for a few days and I took him to the vet when I found blood in his stool. The vet said on Monday that there doesn't appear to be any foreign objects or worrisome lumps so he gave me some meds to help with the colitis he's showing. We took Tuesday off and were able to go back to work yesterday, but by the end of the day, I could tell he wasn't doing very well. His personality was pretty down and he would lay down as soon as we were standing somewhere for more than 5 seconds. His appetite is still there (but let's be real, he's a lab. I'm pretty sure if we removed his stomach, he would still have an appetite...) but what's really worrying me is that he won't drink much water. I've been giving him ice but he's ducking away when I try to give him any normal water. We've been to the vet again today where they're testing him for other bacteria or foreign bodies, so I'm praying for fast results and an even faster recovery! They've also given him some fluids so I don't have to be too worried about dehydration. We're so blessed with the vet that we have because they take the whole picture into account. They don't just see a sick dog. They see a sick lifeline who's health affects more than just the dog. It impacts the partner's ability to go to work and the dog's ability to do his job.

Having a sick pet is already pretty heartbreaking because they're so innocent and you can't talk to them to figure it out. Having a sick service dog is almost devastating because he puts up such a stoic front when I know he just doesn't like showing me he's sick. His whole life is dedicated to making me healthy, so he's not used to being the one who needs help. Life with a service dog is an endless guessing game of "What are you trying to tell me?" It's staying home from work because the other half of you is sick. It's spending whatever needs to be spent to help him. It's being there for him like he's always been there for me. I wish I had something happier and peppier to share, but for now I'm just a worried mom. Please send up prayers for a fast recovery and good rest for my little man!

I'm hoping he feels better soon, because we have a big weekend ahead of us! On Saturday night, Zido and I will have the honor of sharing our story at CPL's annual Unleashed and Uncorked event! We're always so excited to give a personal testimony of the wonders of service dogs and what better venue than a fancy event where we get to play dress-up? Information for the event can be found here, so check it out! I can't wait to share with you all about it afterwards!

Love and blessings,
Zee and Me

Zido Goes to Preschool!

   There are many many blessings and perks of having a service dog. I mean, aside from the fact that he has kept me conscious for 580 days, he also provides constant support, never-ending laughter, wake-up kisses, safety, happiness, peace, love, cuddles, smiles, and goodnight tail wags, just to name a few. Of course, there are always trade-offs so along with these blessings come many frustrations.

   For example, just yesterday I had to take my friend, Sam, to a testing center. She's from California but will be living with us this summer as she scopes out jobs in Washington DC. She hasn't bought a car here yet and I had no issues with bringing her to the test, waiting two hours, and bringing her back. I was looking forward to the quiet time with my cross-stitch and my Zido.

   Unfortunately, while I was waiting, we ran into an issue. The guy that worked there acted as if he had never seen a service dog and said he couldn't "believe the building would allow pets." I patiently told him "Oh he's not a pet, he's a service dog." He then went back to his desk (mind you, I'm sitting RIGHT next to him and can hear him mumbling to himself...) when about 15 minutes later he received a call. No one had walked by us, so you can imagine my surprise when I heard him say "I guess it's a service dog...they got here about 10...I don't know I guess she has nothing better to do." Again, I'm RIGHT freaking next to him (behind this whiteboard that was sitting in front of his desk) and I'm furious. First of all, was someone watching me on a camera? If so, I hope they were enjoying my dog laying utterly silent at my feet while analyzing the details of my peacock cross-stitch...and second of all, seriously dude? I'm RIGHT HERE!

   After taking a few breaths and reminding myself that this man is just ignorant when it comes to service dogs, I approached his desk and said "Excuse me, who were you just speaking to?" He whipped around and said, "The CEO" to which I replied "Okay, well I can hear everything you just said and I don't appreciate being talked about, so if he has anymore questions I'm happy to talk to him." With a nice little deer-in-the-headlights look, he said "Oh okay no he just didn't know you were allowed to have a pet in here." I took yet another deep breath and said, "Again, he's not a 'pet', he's a service dog and is working for me. And by the way, it's very rude to say that I have nothing better to do. I'm here with my friend who's taking a test and I'm waiting until she's done. So again, if your CEO has any further questions, tell him I'm happy to speak to him." And walked away.

   The sad reality is that as a partner with a service dog, these situations are not all that uncommon. Through them, we learn different ways to combat the difficulties. Aside from speaking to the individual in the moment that the event occurs, I also take advantage of the fact that my mom is a preschool teacher at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church and School. I believe that the BEST time to start learning anything is while a child is still young, so once a year I go into her classroom and give a service dog presentation for the 4-year-olds.

   Now, let me tell you, there is NOTHING funnier than a bunch of 4-year-olds not only guessing how old I am (I'm 22...they guess either 12 or 48...) but also hearing what they think his harness is for. We like to start the presentation with those kind of questions just to see what they think! My favorite answer? Last year when we asked what they thought his harness was for, this little boy raised his hand and in a VERY matter-of-fact way said, "It's his jetpack."

   The presentation serves three basic purposes for the kids. Primarily, I make sure they understand that it doesn't matter if it's a service dog or not! They should NEVER walk up to a dog and start petting it. Secondly, I want to teach them how they should act when they are around someone with a service dog. We tell them that they just have to act like the dog isn't even there and always talk to the person, not the dog. This is something I run into almost everyday where people only see the dog next to me and forget that there is a human being connected to it. Hopefully, this plants the seed of respect in their young minds and then they can bring it to any of their circles of influence to teach others! Finally, we like to do little demonstrations of what Zido does for me. Here are some pictures of this April's group of students and the skills Zido showed them:

We love meeting our new friends and showing them how well Zido can lay there quietly

Showing them how he can sit, lay down, and stand helps remind them of their own dogs at home

This is when we show how well he stays while I walk away. Even when they're making noises, he's able to focus on me

And then of course he gets a treat when he comes to me

Yeah...Zido loves his treats...

This wasn't a real alert, but I like to have him sit on me so they can see what an alert looks like!

The kids LOVE this one: he's helping me take off my socks so I don't have to bend over

They love seeing how gentle he is with my toes

This one is their favorite: he's jumping up to close the door for me! Such a gentleman :)

This is called a go-pay. I don't use it too much, but it's always important to keep his skills up!

We like to end with his LEAST favorite...carrying a plastic baggie

The children like to see him walk next to me while he carries it across the room

As any gentleman would...

   It's so humbling and absolutely amazing to see how their eyes are opened to the world of dogs. They probably won't remember my name or even Zido's name by the time they're older, but at least the seed is planted. It sounds cheesy, but these kids really are the future of our society and if we can teach them how to handle interactions with people who are a little "different" than they are, then hopefully society will learn the same.

   Up next on Zee and Me: Video Update!

Love and blessings,
Zee and Me

Dog Off Duty: Zido the Normal Dog

   When you've been partnered with a service dog for over a year and half, there are a few questions you seem to run into over and over again. For us, those questions are of course: "What is he?" "How old is he?" "Why do you have him?" "Where does he sleep?" and my favorite..."Boy or girl?"

   There's one question, though, that I seem to get day-in and day-out: "Does he EVER get to be a normal dog?" Now, sarcastically I want to answer that with, "Nope. Never. Work him all day, everyday. Gotta work him to the bone. He needs to earn his keep." Instead, I end up telling them that yes, of course he gets time to just be a dog and I remind them that he truly loves his job. But, like the rest of us, he loves his time off as well. For this post, I wanted to show you guys just how "normal" of a dog he becomes when the harness comes off.

   Before we begin, let's check out this video to see just how much he changes during the transformation from on-duty to off.

   I mean, who hasn't felt that way at the end of a long day? When he gets home and I take him off harness, Zido becomes like any other dog. The issue I run into, though, is that even though the harness may be off, his brilliant mind never turns off. I swear to you I will tell him not to do something and he looks deep into my eyes and CHOOSES to do it anyways...

   For example, I made a terrible mistake that the trainers from Canine Partners for Life warned us not to make: I let Zido sleep in my bed with me. I mean, I told myself, "Just for a little bit so we can bond!" Yeah, well a year and a half later I would really like to reclaim my king size bed. So a few weeks ago, my mom and I embarked on a craft journey and remodeled an old coffee table into a special, four-post bed for King Zido. During the making of the bed, Zee was in love. We were making it in my living room, so Zido would come and crawl into the table while we were still trying to figure out what to do.

He also wanted to "help" me paint so he took it upon himself to sit on me and supervise my every move.

All was well and good when the bed was finished and still sitting in the living room...

   But then I tried moving it into my room and he realized what that meant. He saw MY bed and he saw HIS bed and said, "Ohhhh...yeah, no I still want the big bed."

   My brilliant plan to force him to sleep in his bed was foiled when I fell asleep each night...I would go to bed alone and wake up with a furry lab cuddled up to me. I realized that of course he would know when I was truly asleep because my heart would tell him that! So now the bed will be upstairs for the other two dogs to enjoy while Zido and I continue to figure something else out.

   On his off time, Zido also loves being outside. He will run and run with his basset hound brother, Luigi, and his mutt sister, Annie. During the winter, we have found that Zido LOVES the snow! This past January, we had a record breaking snowstorm, which absolutely thrilled Zido.

    
   As spring has begun, I've also found that Zido is quite the little gardener. He has taken it upon himself to "assist" my parents in their background landscaping.

   He will also be of service by rearranging some of the plants that are in our backyard...we've found that his true gift isn't alerting to my condition, but rather he is a proud horticulturist.

   Above all else, though, Zido's absolute most favorite thing to do when he is off-duty is to snuggle up close to me and drift off to sleep.

   Whenever I am out in public, Zido is always on harness. He has a job to do and he takes his job very seriously. However, working dogs still have their time at home when they can just be a normal dog that runs around and probably get into a little bit of trouble. Each partner will have their own rules when it comes to when the dog is off harness, but my general rule is that if my shoes are off, his harness is off. That means, for us, when we are at home he is mostly off harness, but there are many days when I'm not feeling my best. On those days, I will put him in his smaller vest, which is a regular looking service dog vest that CPL provides. It tells the dog that they are still on duty and working, but it is much smaller than his full harness.

   What will continually amaze me is that even when Zido is completely off harness and not technically working, he is ALWAYS on the job. He has woken up from deep sleeps to alert me and has stopped in the middle of playing to tell me something is wrong. He has even woken me up in the middle of the night because I was having a nightmare and my heart rate was increasing. This dog is seriously amazing and he blows me away every day. I'm always proud to show him off in public and watch him work, but some of my favorite memories happen when he's just my goofy lab at home.

   We have something super special coming up next on Zee and Me! Miss Michelle (the woman who told me about CPL) will be writing a guest post about her own experience with training a therapy dog! She has been such a huge part of my life and I can't wait to share her wisdom with the rest of you!

Love and blessings,
Zee and Me

Zido Turns 4: A Doggie Birthday Party

   It was by far the WEIRDEST birthday party I'm sure any of my friends have been to. But I have to say, sitting in a chair and looking at my 15 friends that came to a birthday party for my dog while Zido opens the presents they brought for him was so incredibly hilarious and humbling. I can't believe how blessed I am; I mean 15 humans willingly gave up their Sunday afternoon to sit in a living room, eating dog-themed food, and watch a dog open birthday presents. Sometimes the amazingness of the people in my life is overwhelming.

   Well, this post is going to be the pictures from Zido's big day and a couple points from the day. Please don't judge me for the corny food names, but hey when you have a dog with you 24/7, you start to get a litte pup-crazy. Up next on Zee and Me is "Dog Off-Duty: Zido the Normal Dog"

Zee and I started the day off with some yoga. As you can tell he was THRILLED to be up early on his birthday

Mini Dachshunds. AKA little bitty BBQ hot dogs

Of course there need to be hot dogs at a dog's birthday

The full array of dog-themed foods...but for humans

Oh the cheesiness is just beginning...

Chocolate AND puppy kisses? Is there anything better?

Animal crackers are the same as chew toys right?

Well this is just a given...

Kibbles and Bits for people. Yum!

I had NO idea there were Scooby Snacks for humans. And they're delicious!

The birthday boy enjoying some pig ears

Yes, Zido opened all of his own presents. His "take-it" and "tug" skills came in handy.

Zido, Garni, and Bud waiting ever so patiently for their pup-cake

So excited Garni and Bud could join us!

Zido's favorite part about his birthday is opening presents

  I'm really lucky to have two other women in the Northern Virginia area who have service dogs from Canine Partners for Life. We try to get together for each of the pups' birthdays so of course they were at Zido's! I used Toni's recipe for this super special pup-cake for the dogs and the video below is when the boys were finally able to gobble it up.

I hope you all have a blessed week and as always, thank you for reading!

Love and blessings,
Zee and Me