Service Dog Questions - Answered (Part 2)

Hey everybody!

Part 2 of my "Get Your Service Dog Questions" video series is now up! Take a look and learn about service dog training and a little bit about the legal differences between service dogs, therapy animals, and emotional support animals.

Keep sending your questions in! If I don't get to them in a video, I'll definitely be using them for future posts. https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/76GSSZK

You guys are the best - thanks for sticking with us and for spending your time listening to me talk to myself!

Love and blessings,
Zee and Me

Partnership Pet Peeves

Oh my lanta, the changes life gives you! This past month has been full of them and there are only more to come! I’m currently about a week (hopefully less!) away from becoming an aunt as my incredibly preggers older sister is waiting for the arrival of her first son. This will be the first baby of my immediate family, so I know we’re all anxiously awaiting the moment we meet the little man. As if that weren’t enough of a life change, I started a new job last month and I’m absolutely loving it! I’m now a Communications Manager at a local association, so it’s awesome to actually be doing what I went to school and spent thousands of dollars for…funny how that works. And as if THOSE weren’t enough, my older brother has recently gotten engaged and will be getting married this fall to his lovely fiancée! With two weddings and a baby, 2018 is shaping up to be a big year for the family.

A few weeks back, I asked my Facebook friends for any blog topics (Blopics? Is that a thing? Can it be a thing? Let’s make it a thing.) and I was given some pretty good ones that I can expand on! The one I chose for today is one that I’ve wanted to write about for a few years, but have been tiptoeing around because I want to be sure the tone is firm, but not rude; serious, but approachable; and informative, but filled with grace. We’re going to take some time to investigate some of the “Pet Peeves” I have as a service dog partner. Obviously, I don’t speak for ALL partnerships, but from the threads I’ve seen and the conversations I’ve had, I’ve gotten the sense I’m not alone in these. Rather than just list all the “OMG” moments of my day-to-day life, I want to be sure to include some alternatives that non-partners can turn to when faced with a service dog partnership.

Doing the exact opposite of what I ask and having a little ‘tude about it

Fun fact, I’ve found that children are THE best when it comes to interacting with Zido and me. Nine times out of 10, they’ll ask if they can pet him (+100 points for asking!) Then, when I say no, they just go "Oh okay" and walk away (+1500 points for listening!) My assumption is that this is because they live in a world where every other sentence to them is: “No, don’t touch that.”

Adults, on the other hand, are prone to just reaching right out to him (-10 bazillion points) and then when I say “Oh he’s working. Please don’t,” they’ll do 1 of 3 things:

1. Stop and apologize (you get your 10 bazillion back)

2. Get offended and give me “a look"

3. Wait until they think I’m not looking and go for it again

In the age of the “Me Too” movement, we should just conclude that in all situations involving personal property and personal space, ask first and if the answer’s no, move on and respect the person.

The best thing you can do if you come up to a service dog partnership is to first look for any signage on the dog that says, “Do Not Pet/Distract.” If you don’t see that or if the dog isn’t wearing any kind of a uniform, just assume you can’t interact with it. There ya go, it’s as simple as that. If the dog is able to be touched, the partner will more than likely tell you that and give you the permission.

Asking what’s “wrong” with me

A lot of times, this question comes up like this:

Random Randy: “What’s he for?”
Me: "He’s a medic alert dog."

Now the conversation will take 1 of 2 turns:

Option 1:
Randy: "Oh awesome!"
Exit stage right

Option 2:
Randy: "No, like what medical condition is he for?"
Me: "A medical condition."
Randy: "What medical condition?"
Me: "That's actually really personal."
Maintain awkward eye contact until one of us can leave.

Most people get the hint after that, and they apologize for asking a complete stranger what their medical history is, however I’ve had a number of people that STILL go further with the questioning and say, “Oh I’m a nurse” or “I’m a doctor” or “My cousin has a service dog.” While these help me understand a bit more about why they’re asking, it’s still a very personal question to be asking a complete stranger. They’re not MY nurse and they’re not MY doctor, so I don’t feel comfortable going into detail about my medical history, and I doubt they would be either.

In my last post, I mentioned that when you’re wondering about WHY you can’t pet, think about how you would interact with someone with a cane or oxygen tank. The same applies when wondering why someone has a service dog. You would never (hopefully…) ask someone why they’re in a wheelchair, why someone’s limb is missing, or why they have an oxygen tank with them. I understand that when I made the decision to get a service dog, I made the decision to stand out a bit in public. I did not, however, make the decision to give the public a right to my personal information.

The alternative to this is like the last alternative: just don’t do it.

We are so blessed to live in a time where “Google It” has become a sentence in and of itself! If, for example, you see me on the metro and I’ve told you that he’s for a medical condition and you see a sign that says, “Cardiac Alert Dog,” go home and research “What is a cardiac alert dog?” or “What kind of service dogs are there?” I guarantee you’re going to find the answers you’re looking for and then maybe even some more!

 LOUDLY pointing us out to children

This weekend, I went to a coffee shop for a little “me” date. While standing in line, this man came within 2 feet of me and LOUDLY started talking to his daughter who was definitely under a year old about “See THAT? THAT’S a SERVICE DOG. He HELPS HER with a PROBLEM she has” I wanted to list this as a pet peeve, because not only is it embarrassing to be pointed out like that by someone being very loud, but it was to a child that probably doesn’t understand what you’re even talking about.

Now, I understand that I don’t have a child and I don’t really know what it’s like to face a “Teachable Moment” with one, however I’ve had a few experiences like this one, and it becomes very clear that it’s become a moment for the parent to show others that they know what they’re talking about, rather than teaching their child a lesson. What I would suggest as an alternative is to wait until you think the service dog partnership is out of ear shot, get on your child’s level and explain what they see. During that time, I think you have a great opportunity to start the conversation on how to treat people who might seem “different” to you, one of which is to not make a scene or embarrass the person when you notice them. If I ever hear a parent doing that, I always make a point to thank them for explaining it and for doing it in such a polite way. You really have no idea how much it means to see the next generation being taught that different isn’t weird.

Contradicting what I say about service dogs to children

Back to the coffee shop scene, after this man politely stepped off his soap box and dropped the mic, he told his daughter “Now you can’t pet but you can say hi.” At this point, I understood that he was talking more so to me about what he’s allowed to do versus talking to his daughter because again, she was literally a baby. I said, “Well, actually, you can’t. Since he’s working he can’t be distracted at all.” To which he said, “Well yeah, but you can wave.” and I said, “No, you can’t. He’s working, and he can’t be distracted.” This grown man rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah, sure.” and walked away. I’ve had parents say, “He bites.” To which I quickly try to clear that up. I’ve also had a mother take her child out of the cart at a store, set it on the ground and say, “Go say hi to the puppy!” When I stepped in the way, the mother got very offended and told the child that I was, I kid you not, “a mean lady.”

If you see someone with a service dog, it’s probably best practice to think they know about how to handle a service dog and that they’re saying what they’re saying for the good of all parties involved. Please don’t teach children that to be told “no” is equivalent to the person being a “Mean Lady.”

Starting in on a question without following conversation protocol

What does this even mean? Well, one time, I was on the metro with my headphones in when the lady next to me tapped me on the shoulder. I took my earbud out and she pointed to a woman ACROSS THE CAR and said, "I think she's trying to ask you something?" I turned to the lady and she very loudly said, "WHAT'S THAT DOG FOR?"

This touches on a few of the above pet peeves, but let's look at it under the scope of "Conversation Protocol." Normally, if you want to ask someone something, you'll first make sure you're within normal conversing distance. Then you'll probably start it with something like, "Excuse me..." Once you have mentally confirmed that they've acknowledged your effort of getting their attention, you'll then begin your question.

What I find many people will do is just jump right into their question, without trying to get my attention. I've been standing in line, and someone a few people back said, "How old?" Even though I heard it, I had no clue they were talking to me so I didn't say anything. I heard them ask it again, and again no response. Finally, they said "How old is your dog?" and sounded very annoyed that they had to ask so many times.

If you have an appropriate question to ask someone with a service dog, please use the same steps you would take in asking a question of anyone else! While I know a lot of people on a train might be staring at us, I don't assume that every question asked is aimed towards me.

Talking to Zido, not me

While you shouldn't talk to a service dog at all anyway, one of the interactions I've had a few times have been people literally talk to Zido instead of me. One time, I was on an elevator and a lady said, "What's your name?" I knew she wasn't talking to me, but I still said, "Courtney." She then looked at Zido and said, "Hi Courtney!" I said, "Oh, no, MY name is Courtney." She looked at me and said, "Oh I was asking what his name is..." I replied, "I just thought since you said 'your' name, you were talking to me since he's a dog." Then I smiled and you could tell it kind of hit her, too, and she started laughing.

As crazy of an alternative as this might sound, here it goes: Talk to the human. Not the dog. Dogs can't talk.

I firmly believe that having Zido in my life has served as an AMAZING icebreaker in social situations since everyone can talk about dogs, but I'm still the person in this partnership. I've had job interviews where so much of it was spent on Zido's training that we hardly touched on my abilities! When you're engaging in a conversation with someone with a service dog, just remember to focus on the person and understand that while we can talk about our dogs all day, every day, we still like to show the world that there's more to us than our furry companions.

Telling me that my dog is sad or that I’m hurting him

This is probably one of the most hurtful things I could hear from someone. It seems like such a small comment, but for some reason it really hits me. I’ve had countless experiences where people have said the harness is hurting him, or that he looks sad to be working, or that I’M hurting him. If you’re someone that thinks this, let me clear up a few things.

First, the harness Zido has was actually designed by a canine chiropractor and was created specifically for him so that it only rests on the strongest parts of his back. While it looks heavy, it’s not - it’s created to only be about 7lbs. I love this dog more than I love myself, and while I know a stranger wouldn’t know that, I hope to get the word out that legitimate service dog partners will do ANYTHING to protect our dog. They are our lifeline and they are our best friends. I would never put Zido in a situation that I know would hurt him.

Second, Zido doesn’t look sad. He looks serious. I think I’ve said before that you probably don’t sit at your desk and smile all day. No, that’s kind of creepy. Zee is the same because he takes his job seriously. Dogs were MADE for work! Think about all the things you see dogs do and think of how happy they look. I mean, seriously, I’ve never seen anything as happy as a dog herding sheep. While Zido’s face may look sad, take a look at the rest of his body: his tail’s high, his walk’s peppy, and his ears are forward and relaxed. He loves his job and he’s good at it! While, yes, he loves coming home and taking the harness off, it doesn’t mean that he hates having it on! My favorite part of the day is getting home and changing into my pajamas (at 5:30pm…don’t judge me.) but that doesn’t mean I hate my job!

"I just love dogs so much. This is so hard for me to not pet him."

I debated adding this one, because it's such a benign comment, but it's still one that gets under my skin. When someone says it, I never know what they want me to say. Are they looking for a "Good job!" or me confirming my understanding on how hard it is? Or are they looking for an "in" that I might say, "Oh since you did so well up until now, go for it!" Most people are dog lovers. Most people find it hard to not pet him. What I find super respectful, however, is to not even acknowledge he's there. If you know you can't pet him, it's so much better to just follow through with what you know rather than pointing out that you're feeling tortured.

"I wish I could take MY dog with me everywhere!"

I wish I didn't have a medical condition that requires me to take my dog with me everywhere. Enough said.

The main points in all of these are pretty simple:

1. Listen to the partner
2. Respect their privacy

I’m super excited for the next post (no promises on when it’ll be!) but my husband, Zack, has agreed to do a guest post on what it’s like to be “the third-wheel” in a service dog partnership! I can’t wait to share his perspective with all of you!

Love and blessings,
Zee and Me

Why Your Fake Service Dog is Ruining My Life

   I know this post might make some of you angry, and I'm truly sorry for that, but it is something that is incredibly near and dear to my heart. This is my blog and my way of expressing personal opinions in order to show what living life with a service dog is really like. Because it's more than just "getting to have my dog with me all day." It's a constant struggle to fit in and it's a constant fight for my rights as a person with a disability. I pray that you understand that and please know that I am not writing this in anger. I'm not writing it to hurt feelings. I'm not writing this to spark controversy. I'm writing it because it is MY truth. This post will also be heavy with outside links so if you have any further questions on what I've said, I highly encourage you follow those links and even do some research of your own.

   Okay I'm going to start this off with an incredibly important point:

I am NOT a lawyer.

   The only "legal-ese" that I base my knowledge of service dog laws on is what comes from Title II and Title III of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) which is:

"Under the ADA, a service animal is defined as a dog that has been individually trained to do work or perform tasks for an individual with a disability.  The task(s) performed by the dog must be directly related to the person's disability."

   Now, you may be asking yourself "Okay well what does that mean 'work or perform tasks'?" The ADA "Frequently Asked Questions" page has that covered as well:

"The dog must be trained to take a specific action when needed to assist the person with a disability. For example, a person with diabetes may have a dog that is trained to alert him when his blood sugar reaches high or low levels. A person with depression may have a dog that is trained to remind her to take her medication. Or, a person who has epilepsy may have a dog that is trained to detect the onset of a seizure and then help the person remain safe during the seizure."

   These tasks can also include such things as going to get a juice box when the dog senses a lowering in blood sugar, opening doors for people who use wheelchairs, assisting in taking socks/shoes off for those of us that get lightheaded or dizzy when we bend over, or (like Zido and me) the dog is trained to tug while walking on harness so that the person's heart doesn't work as hard for them to walk. I also use Zido when I'm on the ground and I need to stand up. He is trained to plant his feet and I can place my hands in specific locations and put my full weight on him to help me stand up.

   According to the ADA, simply providing comfort to their human does NOT qualify as performing a trained task in order to be recognized as a service dog. That is what's called an "Emotional Support Animal" (ESA). Rights for people with ESAs generally fall under the Fair Housing Act because GENERALLY, ESA rights do not extend outside of a house (airplanes are different but there are separate laws regarding air travel.)

   There's another category of assistance animals known as "Therapy Animals." You have probably run into them at hospitals, nursing homes, libraries, special education classrooms, and a few other places. People with therapy dogs have VERY different rights as compared to service dogs under the ADA. According to the National Network website (look specifically at section III):

"Even though some states have laws defining therapy animals, these animals are not limited to working with people with disabilities and therefore are not covered by federal laws protecting the use of service animals.  Therapy animals provide people with therapeutic contact, usually in a clinical setting, to improve their physical, social, emotional, and/or cognitive functioning."

   This means that the rights for a person with a therapy animal extend only so far as to the place they are ASSIGNED to work. So if I have a dog that I have certified as a therapy dog and have an agreement with Children's Hospital to come on Wednesdays and Saturdays to the pediatric cancer ward between the hours of 10 a.m. and 3 p.m., that's as far as my rights extend. If on my drive to Children's I have to stop at Giant to pick up some candy for the children, I CANNOT bring my therapy dog into Giant with me, because that is not his assigned location of work. My only public access right is specifically where and when I have an agreement to work with him. I know that's a little redundant, but that's an incredibly common mistake that I run across very often so I want to be sure that the difference is understood.

   Okay so now that I have all of that legal stuff out, I'm going to go to strictly my opinion. To put it as bluntly as I can, there is no excuse for someone to pass off their dog as a service dog when they are not. None. Zero excuses.

   When Zido was born on April 10, 2012, he basically went straight into training. Of course, he spent many many weeks with his mother and siblings and was in no way, shape, or form taken from any of them before the right time. But as soon as Canine Partners for Life (CPL) breeds a litter of puppies, they start taking notes. They see behaviors: they look for the brave ones, they look for the timid ones, they look for the ones that show problem-solving skills. They see everything. When the proper time came, Zido was then placed with a Puppy Raiser. I stay in contact with this family to this day, and I cannot stress how important their job was for that first year of Zido's life. Not only did they have to deal with the naughty puppy stage (they told me they still have baby-safe products on their cabinets because of Zido), but they also taught many many many of his most basic and most important skills during the year they had him. Right away, he was learning sit, stay, down, heel, back, front, side, leave-it, etc. Each month, they had to fill out a review form on Zido's progress and had to attend training sessions at CPL twice a month (I believe it's that often).

   Then, after that first year, the family gave him back to CPL so he could be trained for his future partner. AKA...me. I can't even imagine the pain they went through saying good bye to him, but every single puppy raiser I have ever spoken to has said that seeing the change their dogs make in the lives of their partners makes each tear, each pee-stain, each "Zido...NO!" worth it. Once Zido was back at CPL, he went through another year of intense training. Here, he learned how to pick things up, open doors, take off jackets, tug on harness, turn on/off light switches, open refrigerators, and the list goes on.

   THEN after a year of that training, CPL went through all of their applicants to place their dogs with the right person. I was placed with Zido on August 8, 2014. On October 10, 2014 my mom and I packed everything and basically moved to Pennsylvania for 3 weeks of INTENSE training (see my blog posts from back then to begin to understand the intensity of those 3 weeks). It was ONLY after we had successfully completed those weeks of training that we were certified as a service dog team and I could take him home. But don't think for a moment that the training stopped there. Aside from the daily obedience training, there were SIX TIMES during the first year together that we had to travel 4 hours up to CPL, complete a 2 hour Graduate Support Class, and drive 4 hours back home. Then, at our 1 year anniversary, we had to be re-certified and now we will have to go up to be re-certified every 2 years for the rest of our partnership.

   "Courtney, why are you telling us all of this? We get it...Zido is well trained. What does this have to do with fake service dogs?" It has EVERYTHING to do with fake service dogs, because you see, Zido had to go through 2 1/2 YEARS of training before we began our life together. I had to go through 10 YEARS of living with a disability that could put my life in danger at any moment of any day before I could have the security that Zido gives me. CPL has invested $30,000 into EACH DOG during their lives. Before I was even born, people with disabilities were fighting to have civil rights when the ADA was passed (July 26, 1990). And you know what? The moment someone chooses to go online, buy a "service dog vest" for $60, pay for a doctor's note from some online forum saying they "deserve" a service dog, put the vest on Fifi and walk into Target, they ruin it all.

   Legally, I have the right to walk into any establishment with Zido and no one can tell me to leave because I can't have my dog there. For me, it's frustrating beyond belief when I am told to and I have to fight for my rights to be there. When I just want to go on a fun date with Zack and I have to instead pull out my law book from Zido's pouch and prove that I have every right to have my dog with me, I'm only thinking of the ones who ruined it for me. Because I have to think that maybe that business has had a horrible experience with people claiming their pet is a service dog in the past and their tainted view is now being applied to me and my dog. According to the ADA, a business is able to ask that the dog be removed from the premises when the dog becomes out of control (i.e. barking, growling, relieving itself, interrupting other customers, walking around unsupervised). From that moment on, that business most likely thinks that ALL service dogs are disruptive and should not be allowed in. However, that's illegal, but businesses DO have some rights when it comes to service dogs. The sad part is that many businesses are too scared to ask someone to leave because they don't know their rights as a business.

   Legally, a business is allowed to ask TWO QUESTIONS of service dog partners (also on the "Frequently Asked Questions" ADA page):

"(1) is the dog a service animal required because of a disability? and (2) what work or task has the dog been trained to perform?"

   They (and any other strangers) are NOT allowed to ask WHAT disability the person has.

   If a person can't answer either of those questions, the business is allowed to ask the person to leave the dog outside. Note: the PERSON cannot be denied services, but the DOG can be denied access. Of course, people lie. That's the hard truth of humanity. So when they lie, and they keep their untrained, non-service dog in the public's eye, they become the example for the rest of us.

   Too many times, I hear horror stories of "service dogs" and while it often times leads to a compliment on Zido's temperament and behavior, it still infuriates me knowing what people are doing. I've heard of a lady that let her "service dog" walk around during a yoga class and go up to people. I've seen "service dogs" with full-blown muzzles around their mouths to keep them from biting people. These are just two of the stories I can recall, but trust me there are plenty.

   (Also, side note, there's a reason they are called service DOGS. The ADA covers dogs and miniature horses as service animals. No other animal is recognized as being an ADA-approved service animal. However, there are therapy ANIMALS because there are no restrictions on what can be a therapy animal. Fun Fact: during training, I had to read an article on a "service snake" that wrapped itself around the human's neck when it sensed an impending seizure. My analysis? The snake was sensing an impending weakness and was preparing to suffocate the human. But that's just my opinion...)

   Through all of this, what I'm trying to say is this: when a person chooses to take their pet out in public because they "just can't stand the thought of leaving her at home" or they "think this would be therapeutic for him" or whatever else they tell themselves, I want them to think of two things:

(1) It is a SCARY world out there. There are a lot of sounds, smells, people, quick-moving small children, and sights that little Spot has never encountered during his day-to-day life at home or on a walk around the neighborhood. And he loves it. When his owner takes him to Target because they want to, he is TERRIFIED of everything he is being exposed to. I'm sorry, but if they care SO much about their dog that they just can't stand the thought of leaving him at home where he is comfortable and happy, and instead choose to throw him in a situation he has never experienced, I'm thinking they're actually being pretty selfish and thoughtless. I don't care how "well trained" they think he is. He is a dog, and when a dog gets scared or threatened, he's going to do what he knows he needs to do to protect himself. They're just asking for trouble.

(2) They are ruining the day-to-day life of those of us who NEED our dogs. How would you like if you walked into a store, and you notice five separate employees eyeing you during your trip just WAITING for you to do something. One of them finally has the courage to come up and say "Excuse me, ma'am. We have a strict 'no blonde' policy so I'm going to have to ask you to leave." It sounds ridiculous right? Well you know what, Zido has become a part of me. I could just as successfully separate myself from him as I could cut my arm off and continue on my day. When a store only has poor experience with service dogs, as much as it hurts, it's no wonder they're going to ask. It doesn't make it legal and it doesn't make it right by any means, but it makes sense why they would ask. People passing off their dogs as service dogs are the reason for that.

    If you can't tell, this is something that I'm incredibly passionate about. I dream of working in the Civil Rights Division of the Department of Justice so that I can help make the lives of all people with disabilities better. If you have any other questions, or if you have KIND comments, I would love to hear them. I will remind you that I am no expert in the law. I will either Google an answer for you or contact someone who can help, but I would love to talk about this more if anyone has any questions.

   I know I normally say "Up next on Zee and Me" but to be perfectly honest, I have put so much thought and emotions into this post that I haven't even thought about what my next one will be. All I can say is stay tuned because another one is coming up.

Love and blessings,

Zee and Me