Counting On

For those of you that know me or follow me on social media, you probably know that there have been two major dates that I've been counting down to and counting up from. Well, I'm here to tell you that the countDOWN is officially over! As of last Saturday, January 13th at about 1:30pm, I am now officially MRS. Courtney Williams. That's right! Zido and I walked down the aisle to the man of our dreams and walked back with a husband (and a dad!)

Our pictures should be ready in a few weeks, but until then, we received a few sneak peeks from the big day. Our photographer, Taylor Rose Photography, was an absolute and total Godsend. From the very first time we met her, we knew she was the perfect woman to capture our big day and some of the major days leading up to it with an engagement session AND a bridal session. Seriously, if you're getting married, check her out. She. Is. Amazing.

Now the thing to remember as an engaged couple is that no wedding is perfect. Ours had a song malfunction which made me walk down the aisle to silence, we had a unity cross that just did NOT want to get built, we had another song malfunction that made us not too sure when to leave the chapel, AND I got an alert that night which caused the reception to end about 30 minutes early! BUT, because of the imperfection, we had an absolutely perfect day that we shared with our friends and family. It was the ultimate day of displaying the love God has given us and celebrating the amazing journey we're now on.

Huge shoutout to Hitchcock Creative for the perfect invitations and programs!

Flats...because I can trip barefooted....

I cannot thank our friend, Danielle, and her service dog, Rollo, enough for creating the absolute most perfect bow tie and cufflinks for my main dog

Yeah...my husband's fun to look at... :)

The other major date that I've been counting UP from has been October 25, 2014 which was the day of my last episode. While our wedding was absolutely perfect and everything we could have dreamed of, it didn't come without some hardships. Only my parents, siblings, and Zack know about this, but I want to be sure that my followers can truly see what life with a service dog and a medical condition is like. At about 3pm on January 12th, my count-up restarted.

Weddings and wedding planning are by far one of the most stressful events someone can go through. Even though we had a year to plan and an incredibly supportive set of parents and friends who helped us every step of the way, there were still some stressers that just could not be avoided. Now, unfortunately, one of the only things we know for sure about my condition is that it's stress-induced. As I mentioned a while ago, happy stress, bad stress, and shock lead my body to overcompensate by just shutting down. The day before the wedding, there was a perfect storm of, to be quite honest, totally normal stresses that would make the average person just lay down for a bit and keep going. The other thing to note is that my way of handling the random disappointments or stresses of life is often times through crying. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I'm confused and frustrated, I cry when Zido does something that's so cute I just can't handle it. Well, at this particular moment, I had already been upset at two events and was close to tears. When the third event happened very shortly after, it all turned. I was sitting on a bed with Zido and my sister and the buildup of everything quickly led me to hyperventilating. No, Zido didn't alert before this, but there was honestly nothing to really alert to. My body went from upset to catastrophic in a matter of seconds, but as soon as that shift happened, Zido was on it.

I was trying to catch a breath, but at the beginning of an episode my muscles start to stiffen. Your diaphragm is a muscle, so breathing becomes incredibly difficult. At this point, Zido had gotten in front of me, jumped up to his back legs and landed his front legs on my shoulders to force me to lay down before he began licking my face. For some reason, my hands, arms, feet, and legs become catatonic-like and are unable to be easily moved, but are incredibly painful. As my sister and parents began massaging each of the body parts, Zido went from laying on my abdomen, creating a kind of heated pressure blanket, to licking my face, to laying his head on the leg that was hurting the most. At one point, my family saw that both arms, both hands, and one leg were relaxed, however Zido would not get off of my right leg when they tried to call him. My parents looked and saw that he was laying on my ankle, which was still stiff and incredibly painful. Once they were able to get it to relax, Zido finally moved and came up to lay by me.

I was able to rest for a little bit, but still had to get to the church for our rehearsal. It was an incredibly disheartening moment for me because it was a smack in the face that this condition isn't going anywhere. It may have been 1,175 days since my last episode, but it's still there lurking. I've never wanted to be someone that looks for pity or who flaunts having a medical condition, but the reality is that this thing is sticking around.

HOWEVER,

the blessing of knowing that there is an army of support behind me and the most amazing service dog beside me gives me the hope of knowing that it's going to be okay. I may be back down to day 9 of being episode free, but hey, that's 9 days of health and freedom!

I want to thank everyone for all of the amazing love and support as I've stepped into this new role as a "wife" (seriously, what?) and I'm really looking forward to all of the adventures and stories that are to come. As always, feel free to leave a comment if you have any questions or topic suggestions!

Love and blessings,
Zee and Me

Two for One Special: Dating with a Service Dog

    So you might be chuckling at this topic, but I know that some people out there probably wonder "What's it like to date with a service dog at your side 24/7?" or even "What's it like to DATE someone with a service dog by their side 24/7?" No judgement at all, because I actually thought the same thing when I realized I was getting a dog. So here's our story and hopefully you love it as much as I do...

   For those of you that have been following our story from the beginning, you might remember that I was in a relationship at the time I was partnered with Zido. Well (for completely unrelated reasons!) soon after I came home with Zido, that relationship ended. I was then faced with the thought of "Who the heck is going to want to be with me now?" I knew of plenty of other service dog partners who were in relationships, but I couldn't think of any that began AFTER the service dog entered the picture. So, as you can imagine, I thought for sure it was just going to be me and Zido from now on, because who would willingly want to be with someone who has a "beacon of difference" next to them all the time?

   After a little bit, I started talking to a guy, but that quickly fell through. Then I started talking to another guy, and that eventually fell through, too. To both of their credits, the talking didn't end because of Zido; they both knew I had him and each told me they were fine with it. There just wasn't the connection that should be there in a romantic relationship with either of them.

   Then came Zack. We had known each other for over a year, but just as friends. We started texting a little bit and eventually decided to hang out to play pool and ping pong. It was truly one of the best "hang outs" I've ever had. A little bit into the night, the ping pong ball went out of bounds and flew over this little moveable half-wall. Zack is a little over 6' tall, so he was able to go over it with no problem. I, on the other hand, couldn't. I also forgot that I was wearing jeans and that I'm only 5' 5". Needless to say, I did not make it over the wall and instead tripped over it, bringing the wall down with me. It was absolutely humiliating, but after realizing I was okay, we both busted out laughing. Then, to add to the embarrassment of the moment, one of my biggest "date fears" happened...Zido alerted. I wasn't sure how Zack was going to react to me having to sit against the wall while my dog sat on me in front of the other people in the room. It was a pleasant surprise, then, when he immediately just sat down next to me and continued talking like nothing was wrong. I was hooked.

   We hung out more and more after that, and eventually it came time for our first "official" date. He asked me to go out on a Saturday night and told me to wear something I felt nice in. When he picked us up, he had a single rose for me,and he told me to give it to Zido so he could hand it to me. He also mentioned that he had a surprise for Zido when our date was done. He took me to Jackson 20 in Old Town Alexandria, which was one of the coolest restaurants I've ever been to.

Zido giving me Zack's rose

   It was a dessert date, so while we were there we each ordered a dessert and some wine. The food was remarkable but what I'll remember most from the date was the wine. Both of us like a sweeter wine, so when we asked the waiter what he recommended, he told us about this one particular dessert wine. We had never tried it and I told Zack it was too expensive, but he said it was fine and ordered two. When the waiter came out and we saw how completely and utterly SMALL the glasses were, we both immediately started cracking up.

It was seriously smaller than a shot...

   After we had finished very slowly sipping on the wine, Zack got the check and we left. When we got out of the restaurant, he said it was time for Zido's surprise. I asked what it was and he told me he had gone to this dog-bakery and bought him a few special dog-desserts so he wouldn't feel left out of the date!! Ladies...I swear my heart just burst. It was so sweet of him to think of Zido and I couldn't even get the words out to tell him how much it meant to me. Then we walked around Old Town and ended up in this creepy cemetery. We were just walking through but got really freaked out when Zido kept intensely staring at this one spot and there wasn't ANYTHING there! So we very quickly left...

   All in all it was one of the most special nights of my life because it showed me how normal I can feel as a woman with a service dog. When Zack eventually asked me to be his girlfriend a few months later, he made sure to include Zido and has never once said anything about Zido being embarrassing or wishing that I didn't have him with me. If anything, Zack is more protective of Zido in public than I am; he hasn't been afraid to say something to people that make rude comments about Zido and me. Zack and I will be together for a year in June and I can really say that with my two Z's next to me, I've never felt more loved or more protected.

   I know, this was a super cheesy post, but it was important to me to show that people with service dogs can (AND DO) live incredibly normal lives. We go on dates, we go to school, we get jobs, we fight, we cry (by the way, Zido is such a typical guy and has NO clue what to do when I'm sobbing. I look up and see that he has brought me almost all of his toys and is just staring at me like "Ummm does this help?"), and we laugh. I have been so blessed to find someone who accepts me for everything that I come with and has accepted Zido into our lives.

   Here are some pictures of my time with Zack and Zido. Coming up next on Zee and Me: "Zido Turns 4: A Doggie Birthday Party!"

Helping out at an event at The Kennedy Center with my boys

On Aug 8, 2015, we had a day at the park to celebrate the anniversary of me being partnered with Zido

All dressed up for Halloween with my scarecrow and not-so-cowardly lion

Playing in the snow in Wisconsin

Easter 2016 :)

Love and blessings,
Zee and Me